After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
