I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
