dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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