I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
