If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
