Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think my moral compass just broke
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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