i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
