And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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