Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
