She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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