Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
