This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
