This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
