u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
