Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
