I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
