I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
