wanna go halves on a baby?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She even gives head with a lisp.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
