The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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