He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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