I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
