bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
