I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
