guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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