bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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