Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
