What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
