There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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