Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
