He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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