got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
