D3 body, D1 cock
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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