so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
