Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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