uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
