Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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