Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
