Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so let's talk penis.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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