I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
