HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
