she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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