My room smells like vodka and shame
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
