I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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