So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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