: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
