Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
