then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
