I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
