I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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