i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
